Top Hypocritical Cliches We’re All Guilty Of

P.S. The following is a rant. It’s not meant to offend anyone in anyway, but it may come off as offensive to some people. In that case, while I have no intentions of hurting anyone, do ponder over the points for a moment. If it still appears offensive, then you have my sincerest apologies.

1. “I don’t have too much time to waste on stuff like this”

This is normally uttered when someone creates a huge hue & cry over something mostly trivial, and yet will not see to pursue it for a reasonable and logical conclusion. For example, say you buy a designer outfit and find out that the color runs out. You go to the outlet and start screaming at the top of your lungs about how you were robbed and how this designer sucks & everything [naturally doing so while there are other customers present]. And when the person there asks you to simply provide them the dress to see what could have gone wrong… bingo! [P.S. True Story]

2. I could get this same thing half price at [random area]”

You know what the shopkeepers should say to this? Simple: “Then why don’t you buy it from there, why come here?” Seriously, what do people want to prove when they say it? Do shopowners have a price match system like those in the U.S.? Not likely, and they’re not going to slash it half price for your convenience. And I love it when people try to bargain at places where there’s a “Fixed Price” board at the cash register 😛 The shopkeeper is NOT going to give you the product for the exact price you want, period.

3.“Why should I pay parking charges? I’ve only been here 5 minutes.”

Unless you’re related to Vin Diesel or Jason Statham, you are NOT getting away from a parking ticket! Not in Karachi’s traffic, where there’s a car left & right waiting for you to get out and park in the vacant slot. Pay the 20 bucks which you would for some smokes or chaliaan, and get it over with. And STOP with the 5 minutes crap. You know you’ve been here for longer. Be thankful your car is still there.

4. I’ve been waiting in my car here for half an hour, everyone’s coming right at me, when am I going to pass?”

Did you bother to see if there’s a sign that says “No Entry” or “Wrong Way”? Oh, can’t read? Then there’s a sign with an arrow that’s been crossed out with red, but you’d understand it if you ever had a look at the handbook they give you when you apply for your driver’s license, so that you can pass your test. You do have a driver’s license, right?

5. “Who can be bothered?”

Imagine someone throws a wrapper on the street. You politely ask him to hold on to the wrapper till he finds a suitable waste bin to dispose of it. Or try convincing someone to use solar panels if he’s so fed up with electricity shortages. He responds “Who can be bothered?” YOU! If YOU don’t do it, no one else will! I hate this one the most, because it just becomes easy to use it and absolve oneself of any responsibility. No one here ever thinks about going the extra mile, unless of course it’s profitable to them in some way.

6. “There’s so much corruption in this country…”

Sure there is, but ever wonder why? Because we do not hesitate to throw due process out the window and take the easy way out. When was the last time you tried to get out of a traffic challan? Wait, wrong question. It should be: When was the last time you were enthusiastic about getting a challan? Try this the next time you get held up by a traffic cop: Admit you were wrong and take the challan, period. The look on the guy’s face will be priceless. And you’ll have stopped one little incident of corruption from happening.

7. Work up a quick-fix, please…”

Why, why, WHY?! Why do we need quick-fixes for everything? Whether it’s a leaky faucet, getting a quick fix for that faulty car part that’s bothering you, you just want to have a short cut for something that, if done with patience and care, will be a permanent solution that will last longer and be more efficient.

8. “I’ll be right back in 5 minutes…”

For some reason, that’s an excuse to double or triple park. And the worst part is that it’s not going to take the guy 5 minutes. Why you ask? Just a hunch, but if there’s still a car properly parked first, chances are that guy isn’t done yet and therefore, it will take time. Then the first guy is going to suffer till the idiot who double parked gets his car out of the way. And let’s not get to the rest of the traffic that gets clogged because they have to move on one lane.

9. “You do not know how to talk to ladies (with respect)”

She hit my car! The gender of the driver does not matter, she (with or without intent, but mostly due to recklessness) hit my car! And just who the heck are you?! Why do you feel compelled to stop over, gather a crowd and defend the lady like she can’t defend herself at all? Wouldn’t it be swell if she would just ask them to buzz off and let the aggrieved parties handle it themselves. All it takes is to exchange contact information, or contact the insurance companies. NO HELP REQUIRED! And of course, why can’t you just drive away from an accident. No, it’s always “hey look, a car collision” slow down and watch what’s happening and block the rest of the traffic, compelling everyone else behind you to do the same. Worst case scenario would be when someone watching like a mindless drone also ends up rear-ending another car… you really don’t want to go there.

10. “He’s a [armed forces/good college/big company/foreign qualified] guy, his class is altogether different.”

I’ll believe that the next time I see one of them acting with civic sense. Has anyone ever wondered why expats obey the law in a foreign country, but violate every single law the minute they exit the airport? Is it ethical to not litter abroad and start dropping trash at the Karachi airport? The laws are there for a reason but sadly we look for excuses and cite everyone else that violates them.

Which brings me to the bonus cliche…

BONUS CLICHE: “If he can get away with it, so can I…”

But why? What rush do you get when you break the law? Why not follow someone for a good cause? Why can’t you be someone who does well and others will follow?

 

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