Scene from Chapter 9

(In a conference room, Paul Doom, Holocaust and Vince McMahon are sitting at a table where all three are displeased of the N.W.O.)

Vince: I don’t know why the fact that Wrestlemania being just 15 hours away is supposed to scare me. All we need right now is good protection. Doom, get the APA.

Doom: I’m afraid that’s not possible sir.

Vince: HOW DARE YOU DISAGREE WITH ME! I’M VINCE MCMAHON DAMMIT!

Doom: Well, you did fire Farooq, and then Bradshaw turned into JBL, a stock market success who’s rich and comes out to the ring in a limo.

Vince: Bradshaw in a limo?! WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS DEBACLE!!!

Doom: I think it was the writers…

Vince: WHAT WRITERS!!!

[A cloud of thought appears over Paul Doom’s head where he sees I.R. Baboon writing something on a log. Another cloud appears over Vince as he sees Paul Heyman being cooked in a cauldron and Vince rubbing his hands. A dark cloud appears over Holocaust as he looks a bit irate over the discussion till…]

Holocaust: Oh, WHO CARES!? WHO THE FU—CARES?! WHAT MATTERS IS THOSE INGRATES NEED TO BE STOPPED IMMEDIATELY!

Vince: Whoa settle down. You need to keep it cool in situations like this.

Holocaust: But you’re yelling at practically everyone and the bathroom floor every time you have a problem!

Vince: Well that never solves anything, we need to deal with the problem in a rational manner.

Holocaust: Oh this is rich [under his breath] Vince McMahon talking logic.

Vince: Huh?

Holocaust: Oh nothing.

Vince: What we could do is take out the league members one by one.

Doom: That’s a great idea! And do you know who you should go for first? That rotten Alucard!

Holocaust: [pissed] Oh great, here we go again…

Doom: No really, Alucard IS our biggest threat. Wanna know why? Because…

Holocaust: Here it comes…

Doom: …Alucard is THE DEVIL!

Vince: Really? WOW, never thought of it that way.

Holocaust: Now Paul, like I told you 8 times already…

Doom: But this time I have a way to be sure. Wait up a bit…

[Doom gets up and heads for something covered in a sheet. Doom takes off the sheet and it reveals some kind of souped-up electric chair.]

Doom: This is the special electric chair that I developed myself. Once I have Alucard strapped in and throw the switch, it’ll send thousands of volts of electricity into him that’ll show the truth once and for all. If he survives, HE’S THE DEVIL! If not, I HAVE TENURE!

Holocaust: Yes, incredibly fascinating. HAVOC, MALICE! [Havoc and Malice enter the room] Destroy that repulsive machine.

[As instructed, Havoc and Malice proceed to tear apart the chair as Doom just watches helplessly.]

Doom: I…spent…money I got from leave encashment on this.

Holocaust: You had your leaves encashed? When did you NOT have days off?

Doom: Look I may not have appeared on Mainframe every now and then, but that doesn’t mean…

Vince: Wow, this has been fun. I even forgot about what was it that we were concerned for.

Doom: We were actually talking about JBL in a limo.

Vince: Oh yeah, that. I need to be on Smack down more often. I remember the last time I was there, when I BURIED THE UNDERTAKER ALIVE!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

Holocaust: I believe it was Kane.

Vince: No, it was definitely Taker. Kane was up there with me as we were laughing maniacally. (Sigh) Good times, good times….

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