2nd Scene from Chapter 7

Nero: One of these days Sean, BAM!!! Straight to the pit of undercard hell!!!

Taylor: Dream on fuzzball. So how do we contact this squealer?

Classy: Well, I do have his phone number. (Pulls out a card from his wallet) I was gonna call him to ask if there was a push lined up for me in the future…

Nero: (snatches card from Classy.) That can wait!

Classy: Oh sure, hold down the unnoticeable guy!

Nero: Whatever.

[Nero takes out his cell phone and dials the number. He puts it on his ear and a split screen appears of Nero on one side and a man in a dark room on the other]

Jay Smash: “Operator….. Yes, this is The Squealer……… Actually I’m JAY SMASH! I’M THE SQUEALER! ME ME! I SHOULDN’T BE TELLING YOU MY seceret identification, BUT I CAN’T HELP IT, I SQUEAL!!! And when I squeal I just squeal some more! SQUEALY SQUEALY BEE is what you can call me. I rhymed, did you hear that, I rhymed. So where did you go? I’m ready for the squealin’. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?

Nero: Uh…could you hold on for a second… (puts phone on the hold mode) Classy…

Classy: Yes?

Nero: The squealer, its Jay Smash!

Taylor, Classy and Alucard: GASP!

Classy: But how can you tell?

Nero: Well, first he went in a monotone voice “This is The Squealer…” and then he goes “Actually I’m JAY SMASH! I’M THE SQUEALER! ME ME! I SHOULDN’T BE TELLING YOU MY SECRET ID, BUT I CANT HELP IT, I SQUEAL!!!” Blah blah. He just kept going on and on.

Taylor: Well, talk to him, see what you can find out.

Nero: You’re kidding right. Why don’t any of you guys talk to him?

Taylor, Classy and Alucard: NO NO NO NO…!!!

Nero: (sigh) This sucks (talking on phone) Hello Jay. Howya doin?

Jay Smash: Oh there you are, I’m just super!

Nero: How’s the squealing goin?

Smash: Squealing is good, I’m having a great time.

Nero: Uh huh.

Smash: I just completed a nice little adventure story of my days as a sqealer.

Nero: Uh huh

Smash: It should be out on secret bookstands everywhere to squeal throughout the world with what I know.

Nero: Listen, SHUT UP for a second.

Smash: Ok…. *waits a second* So I’m calling the book Me, myself, and I… The squealer. I was thinking more like Jay Smash and the Amazing Technicolor book about Squealing.. but….

Nero: [pissed] Okay a minute!

Smash: Oh… all right….. go on…

Nero: Listen, I need you to tell me where Kevin Nash and Scott Hall are hiding my BEAUTIFUL WAGON!!!

Smash: Well, you see. You first must look inside yourself and see the true meaning of why you are doing this in the first place. I would ask you slap yourself in the face, but nobody ever does.

Nero: Yeah, not gonna happen here either.

Smash: Ok, so have you ever heard of a place called…. the AMPITHEATRE?

Nero: Yeah

Smash: Well good….. in that case, they are hiding at a junkyard by the ampitheatre?

Nero: Okay.

Smash: Got it?

Nero: Yeah I got it.

Smash: It’s just a couple blocks away.

Nero: Yeah I know.

Smash: I can help you find it, I’ll bring some Pringles.

Nero: No I don’t need any Pringles.

Smash: No Pringles? Well all right then… I that case I’ll talk to you later.

Nero: Okay, thanks.

Smash: We can go to an amusement park. Ride some…. rides!



Nero: Geez, that guy would NOT SHUT UP!

Taylor: So we noticed. Annoyed Nero?

Nero: Very!



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