Chapter 6 – What Just Happened Here

[In the parking lot of the Universal Amphitheatre, an hour after the WWE Hall of Fame show has ended, we see the “Not the Nero Wagon” along with the League of Extraordinary Wrestlers, after they failed to stop Holocaust. All of them are visibly upset. Sean Taylor is talking on a cell phone while Nero, Alucard, Classy and Torpid are standing next to the wagon talking amongst each other.]

Classy: I can’t believe that Doom would be a traitor. How could we be so blind?

Nero: Yeah, he actually noticed the Dominion logo on the balloon.

Alucard: Yes, he was acting weird at the table we were at.

Nero: Hmmm, interesting. Was he able to suck out your no-selling abilities while you were with him?

Alucard: Nero, a contract like mine is a sacred bond…a sacred bond…

Nero: But still, there could…

Alucard: A SACRED BOND!!!

Nero: Ooookaaay. Still, I feel like a huge loser, with no importance at all.

Classy: WELCOME TO MY WORLD!!! [Starts to cry] BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Alucard: I don’t think I’ve dropped that low.

Nero: Me neither. You my friend are at the bottom of the food chain.

Classy: Oh yeah! Then explain how you still have Classy Mike C as your team mate. In fact, YOU ALL STILL HAVE CLASSY MIKE C!!!!

Alucard: Yes well, that isn’t important right now. What’s important is to know what the course of action now is.

Classy: Uh…Classy Mike Ceeeeeee….!!!

Taylor: [talking on phone] Yeah okay, I get it. Thanks anyway. [Disconnects] Alright guys, up till this moment, things are pretty much bleak. There’s been no sign of Hogan or Holocaust or Doom or in fact any of the Dominion members at all!

[Silence]

Taylor: Also, I got a call from Briggs just now and he said that due to our appearance at the Hall of Fame show, they’re giving us a disciplinary warning!

[Still silence]

Taylor: And they’ll do that by cutting our paychecks…

Nero, Alucard, Classy and Torpid: *GASP*

Taylor: Interesting, I would have expected that for the Hogan report.

[A ringing sound is heard.]

Taylor: It’s from McMahon’s com device.

Nero: [looking in the wagon’s window] Hey G, could you please give us that briefcase.

[Garrison throws the briefcase out of the window and it falls 5 feet away.]

Taylor: Does he ever do anything civilized?

Nero: Of course, he goes to court when he has to.

[The league members, including Garrison all gather around the briefcase and open the top to look at the screen. Vince McMahon appears on the screen, laughing.]

Vince: HAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! Hello Taylor, Alucard, Nero, Garrison. I’m sure…

Classy: AND Classy!

Vince: Whatever. So by now you’ve all figured this out. IT WAS ME!!! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!!! YOU ALL BOUGHT IT!!!

Taylor: Actually we didn’t. We had no idea that you and Holocaust were in cahoots.

Vince: Oh…well still. You have to admit, IT WAS A BRILLIANT PLAN!!

Nero: Lets see, having me team up with Boredy, Bookie and Big G…

Classy: Please don’t forget me.

Nero: …And Bitchy.

Classy: HEY!

Nero: All of this to just show up at the show to see Hogan gets kidnapped. I’m just happy he didn’t go on vomiting over us. Hope you’re having fun.

[Holocaust also appears on screen.]

Holocaust: As always Nero, you’re theories make sense only to you. And no, it’s not because you’re incredibly smart, HA! You see, the Dominion and Vince McMahon had teamed up to ensure WrestleMania’s blockbuster success.

Taylor: Oh really? I find the Dominion’s involvement a huge factor for failure.

Vince: WELL THIS ISNT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS!

Nero: Then why tell us all of this now.

Taylor: More importantly, why this whole league for anyways?

Vince: Because all of you had something that was to fit into the formula. Nero was the only one who could get Garrison on the team.Taylorseemed impressive enough to convince Alucard to join my side, although I was hoping both of them could accept Holocaust’s offer.

Alucard: You mean he was serious?!Taylor!!!

Taylor: Uhhh…

Nero: And Garrison?

Classy: And ME???

Vince: Oh…uh…you…uh…I forgot. But I needed Garrison to beat up some of my superstars. You know, just some of the things to amuse ME!!!

Taylor: But why? Why did you have to kidnap Hogan? He isn’t doing anything at all. He’s got plenty of time to do some WWE stuff.

Holocaust: Because he didn’t agree with the Dominion’s terms and …

Vince: And he called me an @$$hole, Brother! NOBODY TALKS TO ME LIKE THAT, I’M VINCE MCMAHON DAMMIT!!!

Nero: Not even Hogan?

Vince: ESPECIALLY HOGAN, AND ESPECIALLY YOU!!!

Nero: That…made no sense.

Vince: YOU MAKE NO SENSE!!!

Taylor: Haha, good one.

Vince: YOU’RE A GOOD ONE!!!

Holocaust: Ahem, so in order to have you despise each other so as to distract everyone at the show, we sent you our wolf.

Doom: [appearing on screen] Growl.

Holocaust: While all of you were busy getting a piece of the WWE superstars, we kidnapped Hogan.

Vince: Now that you know all of this, there’s no way you can stop me. Actually there is, but you’ll never be able to find us here at theStaplesCenterfor WrestleMania 21. And even if you do, there’s no way you can get there, except for public transport. MUWAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Just then, Garrison delivers a big splash on the briefcase, destroying everything in it.]

Nero: Uh, you thought that giving that the Terrarizer would automatically do it on McMahon, didn’t you.

Garrison: Uhhhh….

Nero: It doesn’t work that way.

Garrison: DAAAAAAAMMMMMMMNNNNNNNN!!!!!

Taylor: Apparently McMahon gave away his location without even knowing it.

Classy: Yeah, but what did he mean by public transport.

[Just then, the sound of an engine starting is heard and the league look at the “Not the Nero Wagon.”]

Scott Hall: [sitting on the driver’s seat] HEY YO!!!

Taylor: What the f…

Kevin Nash: [From the sunroof.] Guess you won’t need this van anymore.

Nero: GET OUT OF MY VAN YOU WASHED UP HAS BEENS!!!!

Nash: Your van? I don’t see your name on it.

Nero: Yes you can. IT’S RIGHT ON THE SIDE! AND THE OTHER SIDE TOO!!!

Hall: Yeah, but it says it isn’t yours little man. See ya!

[The “Not the Nero Wagon speeds off and disappears in the smoke and dark]

Nero: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Taylor: It could have been worse.

Nero: THIS IS YOUR ENTIRE FAULT!

Alucard: I believe it just got worse.

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