Chapter 10 – Nemo Underwater? Nope just Undercover Nero

Outside theStaplesCenter, The “Not the Nero Wagon” is parked outside asTaylor, Alucard, Classy, Garrison and Torpid are waiting outside of it. Nero is apparently inside changing.

Taylor: [banging on the wagon door] Come on already! It can’t take that long.

Nero: [from inside] OH YEAH! You try wearing Kurt Angle’s ring attire! God it’s tight! And itchy! ITCHY!!!

Taylor: I appreciate you making him suffer Alucard.

Alucard: The pleasure is all mine.

Classy: Now if we can only bear him whining after we laugh out loud.

Taylor: Come on, how weird could it possibly look.

[The door opens and Nero steps out wearing a plain wrestling outfit with standard boots and kneepads and elbow pads.]

Taylor, Alucard and Classy: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

Nero: Oh sure, go ahead! Make fun of the real cool guy in the totally uncool wrestling outfit!

Taylor: Why Nero, you look fabulous today.

Nero: Don’t push your luck Taylor!

Taylor: Oh but I WILL push it.

Nero: Yeah well its still isn’t good enough, anyone can guess its The Great and Almighty Nero in a lousy wrestling outfit. I don’t wanna be mistaken for that Dallas Thunderbolt guy.

Taylor: You mean Texas Lightning.

Nero: TexasLightning?! WHUDDAT!!! THAT SUCKS! What kind of names are we gonna see later. Next we got “Lamb of God” or “Jaw of an @$$” Even “@$$ of an @$$”!!!

Classy: Well we do have this…[Holds up a traditional fake nose and moustache attached to a pair of glasses.] This should help you not get noticed by anybody at all.

Nero: Look just because YOU tried them doesn’t mean it’ll work with anybody.

Taylor: Still, [holding back laughter] there is no better disguise than you dressed up in that outfit and wearing a fake nose and moustache. HAHAHAHAHAA!

Nero: You’re enjoying this aren’t you!?

Alucard: Now Nero, in order to familiarize you with how brutal and ruthless Holocaust and the Dominion can be, we have a video clip.

[Alucard brings out a briefcase which has a laptop in it.]

Taylor: Where’d you get that?

Alucard: Actually Garrison found it from the Staples Center. Oh look there’s a note on top.

Taylor: [reading note] Property of WWE. Also note; do not touch my briefcase you sorry scumbags because I’m gonna win it in the Money in the bank ladder match. Signed Adam Copeland.

Nero: Ah cr@p, you ruined the ending for me!

Taylor: Why, who did you think was gonna win?

Nero: Ummmm…Christian???

Taylor, Alucard and Classy: HAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!

Alucard: Really Nero, this is no time for jokes…

Taylor: Apart from the joke that is your disguise.

Nero: You are SO dead!

Alucard: If we can return to watching this clip, I’m sure you’ll find this quite interesting.

[The clip plays and we see Apocalypse from behind holding someone down by the arms while Holocaust is repeatedly hammering away with lefts and right over this unknown person.]

Holocaust: Admit that you are a spy, you filthy rotten disgusting worm. ADMIT IT NOW!!!

[We see that the unknown person is actually a mime and since he cant say anything, just shakes his head.]

Holocaust: Apocalypse?

Apocalypse: Yes Holocaust?

Holocaust: Make him talk, heheheheheHAHAHAHAHA

Apocalypse and Holocaust: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

[Meanwhile]

Nero: Did they make the mime talk?

Alucard: Ahhhhh…probably. I’ll have to ask Holocaust after I crush him later. Also, we have another clip showing how ruthless Vince McMahon is.

Classy: What’s the worst he can do, fire Maven?

[Everybody is silent with disgust]

Classy: Oh please!!! Anyone can hardly see me but when I make a crack, you think it’s a crime against wrestling! Like NOBODY saw that one coming anyways!

Alucard: Uh, yes. Moving on.

[Another clip plays and we see Vince sitting at his office table with an action figure of Bret “The Hitman” Hart and a muscular Vince McMahon.]

Vince: Steal my title huh? Die, die, DIE!!! [Attacks the Hart figure with the Vince figure.]

[Back]

Nero: OOOOOkay.

Taylor: Hey, I remember that.

Alucard: Right, now according to the plan, you are supposed to go in, find out what Vince and the Dominion have planned for Wrestlemania. Then at the appointed time, you are to sneak us inside and we’ll foil those diabolical designs.

Taylor: Amazing. What’s with the elaborate planning? You wanna take the leader spot?

Alucard: That, and your title.

Taylor: Right, like after Sizzler 2004 you’d get a shot at the World Title after you couldn’t beat me for the International Title. Boy do you have some imagination.

Alucard: [furious, but cooling down] Can you no-sell?

Taylor: [looking down] Uh..no.

Nero: Adda boy Alucard! Way to piss Taylor off! You took that crack and literally NO-SOLD it!

Alucard: Why indeed I did. Now the question remains as to how are we to sneak inside.

Classy: Well we could hide inside a giant cake.

Taylor: A what?

Classy: Well there is this incredibly huge cake that you will remember for the rest of your life. I know I will. Late at night it haunts me with its frosted beauty. Oh the vanilla. Oh the cream filling, oh the chocolate syrup. Oh what a CAKE! It’s such an amazing cake. Why, what have you guys got against the cake, it’s such a lovely cake. ORDER THE DAMN CAKE!!!

Taylor: Fine, we’ll get the damn cake.

Classy: IT’S NOT A DAMN CAKE, IT’S A LOVELY CAKE!!!

Taylor: But you just said…

Classy: ORDER THE CAKE DAMMIT!!!

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