[Scene shows the outside of a huge business tower. A limo pulls up and a well-suited man opens the rear door. Out steps Sean Taylor, EUWC World Champion. Both of them walk into the building and get into an elevator, talking along the way.]
Man: You made good time getting here.
Taylor: What, I’m late just 20 minutes and you’re going all Miss Courtney on me? You do realize that I am Sean Taylor, Undisputed Greatest EUWC Double Champion. Do you have any idea what that means?
Man: Yes, I do have an idea…
Taylor: Then I’ll gladly clear it up for you. You see, since I have won both the EUWC International Championship and the EUWC World Championship, I am now officially and undeniably the Undisputed Greatest EUWC Double Champion…
Man: Quite prestigious, I must say…
Taylor: As I was saying…The EUWC World Championship and The EUWC International Championship are the two most prestigious titles in the EUWC and I am the only person to be holding them at the same time, thereby making me the Undisputed Greatest EUWC Double Champion. Before that I was the Undisputed Greatest EUWC International Champion, but being Undisputed Greatest EUWC Double Champion is a landmark. I’ve beaten people like Lynch Garrison, Lord Alucard, Damian Dante Stone, and recently “The Definitive” Danny Collins. What’s more…
[A ring is heard and the elevator door opens]
Man: [Deep sigh] We’re here [muttering to himself] Thank God.
Man: Uhh… right this way please.
[The man leads Taylor to a large conference room, however the lights have been turned dim and not much can be seen.]
Man: Please wait here.
[The man leaves and closes the door behind him. The lights slowly start to come on and Taylor sees the room clearly. There is a huge conference table but there is only one person seated at the far end of the table with his back to Taylor.]
Taylor: Identify yourself!
Seated Man: I am known by many names, Mr. Taylor. My underlings and lackeys call me boss. My kids call me daddy, most of the times they just say ‘sign here.’ Then there are people in the audience who constantly refer to me as an @$$hole.
Taylor: Okay, so it’s Mr. @$$-hole then, eh?
Seated Man: [Gets up and faces Taylor in anger] HOW DARE YOU CALL ME THAT?! I’M VINCE MCMAHON DAMMIT!!!!
Taylor: Okayyyy, well at least now I know who you are.
Vince: You do know that insulting me can cost you dearly.
Taylor: Actually, it can’t, because firstly, as you may already know, I am Sean Taylor, The Undisputed Greatest EUWC Double Champion of All Time. What that means is that I am the only person in the EUWC to hold both the EUWC World Championship and the EUWC International Championship, thereby making me the Undisputed Greatest EUWC Double Champion of All Time, making me a…
Vince: Impressive, but not impressive enough. As YOU may already know, I’M VINCE MCMAHON DAMMIT!!!! And that says it all. Imagine how you can sign your own pink slip.
Taylor: Which brings me to reason two. Since I am NOT contracted with the WWE or more specifically, you, there’s not a damn thing you can do to me.
Vince: [startled look] Uh..yes, that is a good point. However, all that can change Taylor; you could be a WWE superstar. You could reach the top of the sports entertainment mountain. You could be WWE Champion and you could be headlining Wrestlemania.
Taylor: Of course.
Vince: You will have to render some services to me first.
Taylor: Forget it Vince, if you’re planning on bringing back the Corporation or something, I’m out.
Vince: Uh no, well not right now anyways. I was referring to services such as leading the newest League of Extraordinary Wrestlers.
Taylor: Hubba Wha!!!
Vince: It’s an elite group of professionals that I handpick sometimes when I have problems arising every now and then. Lots of those people have made it big in the WWE, that is, if they succeed.
Taylor: People such as?
Vince: That’s classified.
Taylor: WOW! Getting to lead some professionals…wait… they aren’t guys from OVW are they?
Vince: Oh please! Of course not!
Taylor: Great, then these are guys that you know and are professionals.
Vince: Of course, as a matter of fact, you know them all quite well. You have nothing to worry about at all.
Vince: They are all superstars of the EUWC!
Taylor: Um, pardon?
Vince: The Extreme Universal Championship Wrestling, the same company you champion.
Taylor: Correct me if I’m wrong, but you did mention professionals, right.
Vince: Yes I did.
Taylor: Well I thought you meant professionals like, I don’t know, WWE Superstars. But EUWC? I’m afraid that’s impossible. I know by long experience that other than me, all the other EUWC Superstars are about as extraordinary as amoeba on Saturn.
Unknown Voice: HEY! Booky learned a new word.
Taylor: Who the…
Vince: Yes, allow me to introduce you to your second league member. Sean Taylor, Mr. Nero.
[Nero emerges from the shadows of a corner of a room.]
Taylor: You must be joking. If EUWC Superstars are as amoeba on Saturn, then please meet the bacteria of Pluto. And I’m not talking about the planet.
Nero: OOOHHH, haven’t we been watching too much Discovery Channel. Shut up alreadyTaylor.
Taylor: You don’t tell me to shut up, you half-sized dimwit! I am Sean Taylor, The Undisputed Greatest EUWC Double Champion of All Time. What that means is that I am the only…..
Nero: Don’t you dare start that over again,Elizabeth.
Vince: Thank you Nero.
Nero: EAH, don’t mention it. Anyways, you may have won those two titles, God knows how. But let’s not forget who pinned you TWICE on the same night!
Taylor: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! IT WAS A DAMN HOUSE SHOW!!!
Nero: Let’s not forget, your FIRST EVER house show.
Taylor: IT WAS STILL A DAMN HOUSE SHOW!!!
Nero: Sure it was…
Vince: House show, huh?
Taylor: Look Vince, it was a house show, okay. It doesn’t mean much.
Nero: Then why so pissed Queenie?
Taylor: THAT’S IT!!!
[Taylor charges at Nero but Vince comes in between.]
Vince: Boys, please. I wont have you two fighting amongst each other. Who do you think I am, Bischoff? Lets get this straight, Sean, you’re a double champion.
Taylor: The Undis…
Nero: Can it Lizzie.
Taylor: You can it, fish breath.
Vince: AS I WAS SAYING, Sean, you’re a double champion. Nero, you’re a multi-time and probably a great tag team champion.
Taylor: Please note, “Tag Team.”
Nero: Please note [points at Taylor] JACK-ASS!
Vince: Hey, SHUT UP! Both of you! Last Warning. You wanna fight, do it someplace else. What I’m trying to say is that with your combined efforts, you can help me combat a great evil threatening my interests.
Taylor: One question, why us? I mean of course I’m great and everything…
Taylor: But why did you get the idea of getting EUWC Superstars for this job?
Vince: Because the EUWC is quite familiar with that threat. According to our files, it has plagued the EUWC for quite a long time now.
Nero: Yeah, DDS has been a pain the butt! HAHA!
[Nero and Taylor both crack and go for a hi-5, but stop in middle and look opposite ways.]
Vince: I’m afraid it’s more serious. This threat is called Holocaust.
Nero and Taylor: AH!
Nero: Vince, you really do need to reconsider using EUWC superstars for this. Why not just have him wrestle HHH and get it over with.
Vince: Not that simple. We know nothing about him, but wrestling him is not much of a problem. The problem is his group called The Dominion. They are threatening the WWE with potential life-threatening consequences.
Nero: What, they’re gonna invade Wrestle Mania 21 or something?
Vince: Actually, yes!
Nero and Taylor: WRESTLEMANIA 21!!!
Vince: Yes. They wanted full sponsorship rights and complete control etc.
Taylor: And you being the big-time @$$-hole, showed them the middle finger.
Vince: Actually I was wearing one ofAustin’s large sized foam fingers.
Nero: GREAT! That was a sensible idea.
Vince: Now they’re planning on invading Wrestlemania and I can’t let that happen. I’ve seen a video of what one of your PPVs looked like when they took over. So I can’t let that happen. That would waste me getting a HUGE set with a mammoth budget be ready for the show.
Nero: So what do you want us to do?
Vince: Our sources tell us that Holocaust may attack at the Hall of Fame show at the Universal Ampitheatre, the night before Wrestlemania 21.
Taylor: And you want us to catch him there. Okay, when will our planes be leaving?
Vince: Actually, since you’re not contracted with the WWE yet, you can’t have a plane ride to LA. Nero will be providing the transportation. But first you will have to recruit two more of the league’s members and then head for the Ampitheatre. Till then, I hope the three of you get along.
Nero: Uh Vince, there’s only two of us.
Taylor: Maybe since I am the Undisputed Greatest EUWC ‘Double’ Champ…
Vince: Actually, the third guy is around here somewhere.
Voice: Right here Vince.
Voice: Right next to you.
Vince: I don’t see any… ah yes. I’m sure you two know Classy Mike C here.
Nero: Classy? Where? He’s very hard to notice as it is.
Vince: Why is that?
Taylor: Well, Classy just stuck around with the 52-Wild Title for ages, it made him literally invisible.
Classy: Actually Unnoticeable. Everyone can see me; they just don’t notice me at all.
Nero: See, if you had stuck around with the Monkey-Fields instead of handing around with Mr. Freeze, you could have been a good stable.
Classy: I’ll ignore that distasteful comment.
Nero: Ignore? I think the word is ‘unnotice.’
Vince: Well I guess you three know all by now, so you best be on your way. Like I said before, Nero will be providing the transportation. Good luck to you all.
[Cut to outside of the building. The three league members exit out of the building and stop slowly.]
Classy: What is that?
[Classy points to a van painted in multiple rainbow colors, looking like it was out of an Austin Powers movie. On both rear sides, “The Nero Wagon” is written.]
Nero: I call it The Nero Wagon.
Taylor: Yes I can see that. You don’t mean to tell me we’re gonna go all the way toL.A. in that thing?
Nero: You wanna try hitchhiking?
Taylor: Never mind.
Nero: Anyways, this is my dimwit of a butler Casey Torpid. Open the door Storpid.
Torpid: Certainly Oh Great and Almighty Nero! [Slides open the door]
Classy: And I thoughtTaylor’s double champ drag was cliché enough.
[Nero and Taylor get inside but just as Classy is getting in, Torpid slides the door to shut it and hits Classy.]
Torpid: Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t notice you.
Classy: No, that’s okay; it’s not your fault. [Then suddenly gives Torpid a spinebuster right on the road!]
Nero: Oh great, nice work Classy. Now we gotta wait for him to wake up so we can get a move on.
Taylor: Why don’t you just drive this jalopy yourself?
Nero: Oh yeah sure, I, the Great and Almighty Nero will drive the Great Nero Wagon himself. Right. Whacko!